July 10, 2018

Today, Trump:

Admitted to Bribing a Supreme Court Justice

Well, that seems highly illegal.

Consolidated Power

In a move to control regulatory judges.

Made His Stance Against the FBI Very, Very Clear

By pardoning the militia responsible for a 41-day armed stand-off against the FBI on federal land.

Managed to Get Ivanka a Hall Pass on Her Chinese Made Goods

Recent Trump- instigated trade-war tariffs won’t impact the First Daughter. Because of course they won’t.

Postured at NATO

In the same redundant fashion as the Paris Climate Accord drama.

Continued to Screw His Own

Sorry, American Heartland. You knew what you were getting into when you analyzed the fiscal projections.

And Still Continued to Keep Kids in Cages

Well, maybe. We seem to have accidentally kidnapped some of them, too.