August 13, 2018

Today, Trump:

Fired Peter Strzok

The 21-year FBI veteran was dismissed but not in an obstruction-of-justice-sort-of-way, at all.

Snubbed John McCain

In an act of presidential dignity, the signing of the John S. McCain National Defense Authorization Act failed to mention John McCain in any form.

Had Another Twitter Meltdown

Again.

Failed to Utterly Destroy Earth

Thus far.

Made Friends in New York State

Remember to play nicely with the other children, Don!

And Still Continued to Keep Kids in Cages

While actively attempting to cover it up.