Today, Trump:
Still Couldn’t Grasp How Water and Fire Worked
Much to the confusion of White House administrators.
Had Dinner With Business Leaders
The menu included soda and beer.
Sought to Deny Citizenship to Any Immigrants Who Used Public Assistance
Senior advisor and human fungal infection Stephen Miller authored a plan to deny a pathway to citizenship for anyone that utilized public services. Ever.
Took Credit for a Win in an Unfinished Race
The two Ohio candidates will face-off again in November.
Underestimated Border Wall Budget by Billions
The plan didn’t account for little details like terrain and land ownership.
And Still Continued to Keep Kids in Cages
In multiple blatant acts of evil.