December 5, 2018

This Wednesday, Trump:

Honored Our Fallen 41st President

With dignity and grace.

Just kidding!

He used a motorcade to travel across the street and neglected to shake hands with Jimmy Carter before sending off an ego-wank Tweet based on easily verifiable lies.

Released Plan to Tackle Historic National Debt

It involves no longer being in office so that’s a good start, at least.

Watched Chinese Diplomacy Turn Very Tense

The timing couldn’t be any better!

Tried to Ignore Toxic Saudi Link

That keeps getting worse.

Continued to Employ Rudy Giuliani

In an apparent bid to seem smart by comparison.

And Still Kept Kids in Cages

Other nations are starting to take notice.