July 13, 2018

Today, Trump:

Insisted on a Private Meeting With Putin

Despite the fact that the Russia hacked the 2016 U.S election.

Took Another Step Closer to Prison

Things are looking a little treason-y for ol’ Rodge.

Followed Through on Payment to China

Apparently nepotism is the one bill he’ll actually repay.

Humiliated Himself in Front of the Queen

America in general was embarrassed by his boorish behavior. The British have responded in the most British way possible.

Claimed to be More Popular Than Lincoln

By quoting a make-believe poll, no less.

Continued to Employ Pence as Vice President

Especially in the face of such gross government spending hypocrisy.

And Still Kept Kids in Cages

But at least we’ve found most of them, now.