January 17, 2019

This Thursday, Trump:

Faced the First Real Glimpse of Prison


He’s probably going to die there.

Tried to Kill More Puerto Rican People

But failed.

Enticed Political Betting Pools Everywhere

WDSDTDT staffers are equally divided:

Will the Speaker stay in D.C to oversee impending investigative committees or will she pop out of a cake in Brussels, escorted by allied envoys? Ante in!

Continued to Employ Rudy Giuliani

But probably not for long.

And Still Kept Kids in Cages

After lying about it.